Children and Youth

Now retired, I have an opportunity to listen to worship services from churches large and small in a variety of communities. One thing I have noticed is how nervous or unprepared preachers or worship leaders seem to be in talking with the children. You can easily tell when the children ‘connect’ with the worship leader or sit wondering when this time on the steps of the church would come an end. This time with children is the most valuable contact many preachers have with the children of church members. I want to share an easy idea on how to do children’s messages to put in your worship toolbox in working with children.

One of the riskiest things I did in worship, back in the 90s, was asking children and their families to bring specific objects into worship that I could use to create a children’s message. Simply, I would ask a child and her/his family to put an object in a bag and bring it to me the next Sunday.

No cheating. I would not give families any help in what they would put in the bag.

On Sunday morning, during the designated time for the Children’s Message, I would open the bag and see for he first time the object. With whatever was placed in the bag, I would spontaneously create a message. These were not deep, well-organized messages.

I could sometimes find a way to connect the object lesson with my sermon or a hymn or something else going on in the world or the life of the church. While I would often find a scriptural text that could relate to the object, I would mostly pull on my own personal experiences with theological concepts that might be relevant–hopefully memorable. This is not unlike talking with someone about an every-day experience.

The most difficult challenge in doing this type of children’s message was in sharing some thoughts that would be relevant at a level that children could understand.

A neat thing about this type of message was the excitement in children getting involved during the week in finding an object to share. Parents would often search for an object that might have some deep meaning, i.e. a candle, cross, bible or juice on a communion Sunday. Children would search for a ‘stump-the-pastor’ type of object.

Some examples of what children brought me in a bag on Sunday morning: A baseball bat, spatula, a soccer ball, a rose, fingernail clippers, lipstick, a penny, newspaper, marshmallow, apple. The list can be endless!

Could you create an object lesson around these items? You might surprise yourself.

A toothpick was one of my greatest challenges. I only had a few seconds to decide what I could say about this small object. I found myself talking about working on picking or choosing how we would take care of of our teeth and our bodies…..and our neighbors……like caring for our teeth? Lame? A real stretch with the object? It worked. Something to think about when we brush our teeth in the morning–what we pick or choose what to do during the day to share Jesus’ love with someone else.

To be honest, I used to be afraid of children’s messages. This way of doing a children’s message took away some of that fear. I often surprised even myself in what I could come up with on the fly. This type of message helped me create some bonds with the children and congregation in showing how pastors are called to ‘think on their feet’–and often on short notice. I reached a point of actually enjoying the possibility of doing this type of Children’s message.

I would note that this was not the way I would do a children’s message during seasons of Advent or Lent or on special days like the ‘Fourth of July’.

This is a great way of getting children and families involved in the worship experience, regardless how a specific object is discussed.

Something to try when doing on-line or ZOOM services: Have a child simply pick an object in the room around them? Just an idea.

Bottom line? Have some fun in working with children in the church.

A friend and pastor of the First Presbyterian Church in Saginaw, MI, Rev. Ted McCulloch, recently wrote about his experience with children visiting his office and his display of Charlie Brown “stuff”.

“…..I enjoy Charlie Brown and I knew I had quite a bit in my office but I didn’t realize how much. There’s Snoopy on a motorcycle, a couple of different golf and baseball themed ones, four different Nativity sets plus a Charlie Brown Christmas tree and a Charlie Brown pipe organ one……” (Thoughts from Ted, Happenings, May 2017, Vol. 180, Issue 5)

Ted is a ‘pastor-artist’ with a special gift in relating with children. Young and old, I hear from others in the community that children are always around him. I also know that Ted is intentional in remaining accessible to the youngest members of the Church.

Ted wrote to the congregation to help motivate them in taking time during the summer months to help children continue in their faith journey to know Jesus – “giving thanks for welcoming the next believers in Christ”.

Thinking about these words from Ted, I sat at my desk contemplating my experiences through the years in working with children and youth. My first call to the First Presbyterian Church of Davenport, Iowa, forty years ago, was with a focus on ministry with children and youth. Dr. Marcus Priester from McCormick Theological Seminary influenced my decision to focus my early ministry in working with children and youth. Do our Presbyterians seminaries still have professors who specialize in Christian Education? It was early in my ministry I made the decision that the door of my office would always be open to children and youth.

Reflecting on my experiences: My earliest memories as a child and teenager at the First Presbyterian Church of Aurora, Colorado. The pastor’s office had an entrance in the hallway leading to a lounge and some Sunday school rooms. I will never forget the day I walked through that door, at the encouragement of an Assistant Pastor Rev. Robert Meanor, to tell Senior Pastor Rev. DeYoung I wanted to visit with him about my thinking about ministry as a career. I was in eight or ninth grade at that time. From that point on I was invited to be a worship leader.

I will never forget the day Rev. DeYoung told me my paisley tie I was wearing wasn’t appropriate. He took me to a closet and pulled out a solid black tie for me to wear. He taught me things I held onto through my entire ministry — the need to keep my feet planted squarely on the floor in not crossing my legs while sitting up front but one example. He also required me, when leading worship, to come in on Saturday mornings to practice my readings.

Another note from my home church: These two pastors and Christian Education Director were always in the office on Saturday mornings. They dressed casually. It was a good day for people to come into the church to prepare for Sunday! The doors of all the offices were always open! A lot of programming, including confirmation classes for youth, took place on Saturday mornings.

How many pastors maintain Saturday morning office hours?

From this point on, as a young pastor, I was sensitive to how pastor’s present themselves, always in appropriate ways, to children and youth. Where are the offices located and are office doors open or closed? Are children welcome to visit the pastor? How often do pastors visit Church School classes or attend youth retreats.

As a maturing pastor, I have always tried to have an ‘open door’ policy when it comes to children and youth visiting me in my office. When active as a pastor, I always had toys and stuffed animals and puzzles for the kids. Toddlers would find in my office a dancing monkey. Sometimes I would have a small gift – a cross or a “warm fuzzy” or a picture and story about a biblical figure. I would also let them see and touch things i.e. where I kept the ashes used on Ash Wednesday or the communion kit used to serve the sacrament to homebound members of the church.

All of us as professional clergy need to remember Ted and those pastors who have their doors open for children and youth to enter. WE need to celebrate having children in our midst. We must remember, as ‘pastor-artists’, the text:

“Knock and the Door will be opened for you.” (Matt 7:7)

Thank you Ted and Bob and Tony and Herb and Marcus and many others – for keeping your doors open for me — and all children and youth who long for the desire to learn more about Jesus and the church.