I could not, for the life of me, remember his name! I could picture him. His name was on the tip of my tongue. I couldn’t remember his name. Has this ever happened to you?
It was on Sunday while watching the Bronco’s and Colts playoff game that I spent more than a few agonizing moments trying to remember the name of the great football player and former quarterback of the Denver Broncos. This isn’t supposed to happen! This is ridiculous! What’s his name?
Suddenly, my wife after doing a quick Google search (she also could not come up with the name), declared: “His name is John Elway.” Embarrassed! As a former Coloradoan, I can’t believe I couldn’t remember this name! When we hear the name John Elway, I think immediately of his wonderful sixteen season football career as a Bronco quarterback. He is now working as the vice-President of operations for the Broncos…as well as numerous lucrative business ventures around Denver. I knew this stuff. I couldn’t remember his name! Unfortunately and sometimes embarrassed, I experience some challenges in remembering names. I just couldn’t come up with his name.
Why share this embarrassing story? While John Elway is a name that has a tremendous amount of value in the football world, we each have tens of thousands of names that point to the stories of the people behind these valuable names. Just in the books we read — think about all the names behind the stories!
I learned years ago the value of paying attention to the names of people who assist me in cashing my check or serving my meal in a resturant. Referencing a person’s name in conversations gives this person and his or her story value. I promise, calling a waiter or bank teller by name will almost always guarantee better service! If nothing else the “valuing of a person” by the use of his or her name is a way of saying: “I appreciate you and what you are doing for me”.
For those in the clergy community, the world in which I live, I point you toward a blog written by Becca Messman — “Three Habits of Highly Effective Pastors”. She point out this truism: There is nothing worse than calling a person by the wrong name!
And in forgetting names we may use the excuse: “I’m not good with names”. This is disastrous for pastors. Pastor’s need to remember names! While in daily life it’s important to remember the names of people around us, for clergy it’s an important part of our “valuing” the relationship we have with others as baptized members of the body of Christ.
In my last parish I took pride in knowing the name of every church member. I always tried to call on people with the use of their name. I am sure it helped that this was a smaller parish and we didn’t have that many visitors.
I also learned that when we had a visitor the value of learning of his or her name as soon as possible….in then using that name the next time I saw that visitor. With a church in an urban setting, this was vitally important when it came to learning the names of people who would come to the church asking for assisance. The first door I could open for a visitor was the use of his or he name.
This is also true with children. We as clergy persons need to value these children by using their names. Children are amazed that the pastor remembers his or her name!
So are you having a hard time remembering names? I learned early in my ministry that there is no shame in pulling out a piece of paper and writing down a name. The use of name tags in worship is a valuable asset in helping a larger congregation become a “community” of people — each with a name! And this important point: The first step in recalling the story of the person behind the name is the name itself.
Just some thoughts in thinking about John Elway and another man named “Rod” who just helped me get my car serviced.